Dear Vivian in Lagos

Screen-shot-2009-12-11-at-11.33.11-AMThank you, dear lady, for recently purchasing my Nikon D50 camera body from Amazon. I see you would like it shipped to your friend’s home in Lagos, Nigeria. No doubt J. Francis works from home in Surulere and will be around to sign for it, saving you a trip to the Post Office. I might note that you have the postal code for Surulere wrong, but, no doubt the excellent postal workers of the Federal Republic of Nigeria will easily rectify that small typo.

Despite our notice on Amazon that we don’t ship internationally, for you, we’ll make an exception. And while we did receive an email from “Amazon” noting that you had ample funds in escrow, and we’d be paid more than our asking price, even after shipping and commissions, really, we just ask what’s fair.

There is a little problem: despite the confirmation email, Amazon has no record of your purchase, but I’m sure you’ll straighten this out just as soon as your new camera arrives in Lagos. While we hear that Nigeria has excellent postal service, I fear delivery service on our side of the pond is a bit slow, especially when we don’t use it, so you may have to wait a long time, indeed a very long time. I presume I may continue to contact you at until we reach a mutually pleasing outcome to this transaction.

Very best, and thank you for “the business.”

Your friend,

– Chris


About Chris Gulker

Chris Gulker, a self-described Infuential Blogger, lived in Menlo Park, California with spouse Linda. He passed away in late October 2010.
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2 Responses to Dear Vivian in Lagos

  1. Yikes! Is this what I think it is?

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